Pain
by Peeper Stockwell
Summary: a short story about how Scott dealt with the first few hours after Jeanne's death. I don't normally write sad stories, but this idea came to me. get the kleanex ready! I selected 'T' rating due to some swearing....


I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted to be left alone. To be with my thoughts, my pain, my agony.

Jeanne was gone. I would no longer have my princess with me, her smile, her bright blue eyes. They were all gone.

"Scott..." I heard Logan's voice calling after me once I got off the Blue Bird and my legs couldn't carry me fast enough.

I wanted to get away. Away as far as I could go. Especially from Logan. I knew he had a thing for Jeanne from the get go and really didn't want to hear it from him.

It had been a long day. I went to my room and shut the door, which I hardly ever do.

I rolled over in my bed, half expecting to see Jeanne there. My hand waved across her pillow and a tear trickled down my face. _Jeanne,_ I cried out angrily in my mind.

It was a hard night of sleeping, mostly tossing and turning in my bed, hearing Jeanne's voice, seeing those bright beautiful blue eyes and her smile. Finally I awoke and sat up in my bed. I rubbed my eyes and got up.

After getting dressed, I hear a knock on the door.

"Scott, we were wondering if you'd like to eat breakfast with us." came Night Crawler's quiet voice.

"No," was all I said.

I opened up my door, just barely noticing the blue man, and walked right past him. Where I was going, I didn't know or care.

After a few minutes of walking, I found myself at the Danger Room. I walked in and shut the door.

Looking around, all I could see was her.

"Scott..." came her voice. I twirled around, but no one was there.

"Scott, help me." her voice sounded in pain.

"Stop," I whispered, covering my ears.

I see her standing in front of me.

"I know you're dead!!!" I hollered and begin to fire. It felt good, so I keep at it.

I didn't care where I fired, didn't care if anyone was in the room with me. If they got hit, that was their fault.

000

Logan sat with the Professor in the study room. They were trying to reflect on what had happened the day before, not truly believing what had happened.

Charles closed his eyes when the vision came to him.

"Professor?" Logan questioned, worried about his old friend.

"I just got a vision on Scott," came the answere.

"Logan, he's in the Danger Room." the Proffesor told the Wolverine as they entered the proffesor,s office.

"I'm on it," Logan groweled and headed for the door.

"Logan, be careful. Scott's in pain, he'll more likely do something out of control." Charles warned him.

"I'll be ready,"

000

Logan stepped carefully to the door of the Danger Room. He didn't hear anything, but he smelled the scent of his friend. He was in deed in great pain.

The Wolverine opened the door and looked around. He found Scott hovering in a corner, his arms hugging his legs.

"Scott," Logan said, nearing the other man.

"Leave me alone, Logan." came the choked answer.

"No, Scott. I know you're in pain, let me help you.." Logan said, refusing the order and sqauted down eye lever.

"How do you know of pain, Logan? How? I lost her! I lost my world!!" I cried out, wanting to hit the man that was now in front of me.

"Trust me, bub, I KNOW pain. I loved her, too, you know."

I looked at those brown eyes. They were also filled with anger and pain.

"Why she do it, Logan? Why? She didn't have to!"

Logan gulped back his own tears, though he knew they were coming soon.

"She did it to save us, Scott. To save you. The only way she knew how,"

"I could have stopped her!"

Logan put his hands around Scott's chin and made the mutant look at him square in the face.

"Listen to me, Scott, do you think she would have allowed you to? Do you think for one minute she would LET you?"

I kept shaking my head, not believe a word he was saying, but knew it was true. Jeanne would have done it, no matter what. Not only for me, but the team as well.

"I—I keep hearing her voice, seeing her smile. I don't think I can go on..." I said.

"You can, we all can. We can make it together," Logan told me.

"I don't know..."

"I'll help you, Scott. We can help each other heal,"

I gazed into those eyes and tried to smile, but the smile wouldn't come. Once again, tears of anger and pain drizzled down my cheeks, and I angrily brushed them away.

Logan was right. I was not the only one in pain. But it still hurt like hell. I flet empty inside, lonely.

"You gonna be okay?" Logan asked the stupid question.

"Yeah, sure." I answered half heartedly as we stood up.

He wrapped his arms around me and it felt good. I rested my wary head on his chest and closed my eyes

Logan was a smart-ass, but he knew what I was feeling and it felt good to know that.

We sat there for the longest time until Logan finally cleared his throat.

"I think it's time we go, Scott."

He got up and extended his hand to me. I looked up at him and sighed.

"Come on, you can do this." he forced a smile.

I took his hand and stood up on shakey legs to begin a day with out Jeanne....


End file.
